Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
