guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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