He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
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Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
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You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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