the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
