I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I deserve this hangover.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.