Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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