i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
