Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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