I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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