I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
