hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Randomize
