don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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