I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
