She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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