seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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