Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
