So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
