Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I didn't notice because vodka
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
