call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
