and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
