I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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