remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
