Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
