okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Two words: blizzard sex
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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