I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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