This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
