Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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