Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
