erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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