Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
