I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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