when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
MIDGETS
????
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
