Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
