Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I supernannyed him into submission
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
