ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Bring me that man meat
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
