none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Randomize
