Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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