rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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