is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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