Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
