Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
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