Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
