Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
