There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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