I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize