No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
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He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
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Shitshow foam night was such a success
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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