Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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