I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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