apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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