I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Rumble strips road head = magical
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
