so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
