Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
