ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize