32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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