Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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