I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Randomize
