Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
