and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
