Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize