you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
